So many things.

It is 2:40am and there are a lot of things on my mind.
Things have changed with the moving thing.
I miss her terribly.
Mom decided to warn me today that her mom would probably be the end of our relationship.
I almost got stranded at Wildwaves with him.
I ended up not having pants for when we went into panda express.
My throat hurts from yelling.
The anal game is amazing.
I'm sunburnt,
and slightly raw from the slides.
Mom is having doubts about him.
My eyes ache from getting woken up.
I'm not sure if I can go back to sleep.
It hasn't sunken in that I'm not going to school on Monday.
My stuff is still in the back of her car.
I got so angry today that I almost lost control,
but I didn't.
I'm proud of myself for that.
Thinking of her,
and that I never wanted her to see me lose control,
made me stop,
and calm down,
regain control while I shook in that damn panda express.
Their chow mein sucks.
My feet are cold.
I have no idea what tomorrow holds for me anymore.
I'm going to be living day to day for a bit I think...
I wish it wasn't 2:45am.
I need someone to talk to.
Someone to be around me.
Hug me and tell me everything is and is going to be okay.
I cried after she left today.
I ran and hugged Caleb,
and I couldn't stop it anymore.
I just broke down and sobbed.
Not only for her but for everyone,
and everything,
but watching her walk away made it final.
She never looks back when she walks away I've noticed.
And I stand there and watch her walk away,
until I can't see her anymore.
It's kind of hard to breathe right now.
Probably from being woken up.
My eyes kinda burn too.
I want to just fall asleep.
But that involves getting up.
And to stop writing.
But my mind is buzzing to much.
My sunburn makes my eyes look extremely baby blue.
And it makes my face hurt.
Apparently he doesn't love her as much as she loves him.
They don't realise I'm sitting there when they talk.
I listened to everyone for a half hour.
So on my own I figured out what was going on.
I feel like I'm repeating myself.
Probably because I write about her so much.
But I can't help it.
I said I would write what I think.
And I'm not going to change it just because she reads it now.
I miss her...
so.
damn.
much.