Update

Had a meltdown,
my first night back from my cousins,
the nightmare I had about killing someone was on my mind,
then everything just kinda collapsed from there,
mother was at her boys house,
so I was free to stay awake,
to keep my mind off everything I read Anita Blake,
until I finished the entire first book,
thankfully the book my cousin let me borrow has three books in it,
but after that I began thinking to hard,
I should have just gone to sleep,
but I didn't.
I started crying,
harder than I have in probably over a year,
it got to the point where I couldn't calm myself down,
thankfully when I texted a friend of mine,
he was awake,
so I called him,
at 3:30am,
on a school night,
but he calmed me down,
I got to sleep at about 4am.
Then a second meltdown occured,
during which I wandered downtown Oly alone for about 20 minutes,
before someone I didn't want to face chased me down,
and wouldn't let me be alone,
which might have been for the best,
realized a lot about myself,
suprisingly I didn't cry.
Equally suprising,
I felt much better the next day,
and life went on fairly normal for a bit,
other than mother calling me an ass,
well,
saying 'you're an ass when you come back from their house'
meaning my cousins,
but oh well.
Then someone admitted to still liking me,
after having told me she didn't,
not so much of a big deal,
as long as the wrong people don't find out.
Then mother and I got into a fight,
right outside the library,
She shares a card with me,
which bothers me but there isnt anything i can do about it,
and because of my overdue books she couldnt check out the books she wanted,
which of course pissed her off,
while I tried talking to her she got mad,
so I got frustrated and let my hands fall to express it,
she turned on her heel,
gave me a death glare,
and went on and on about me having an attitude,
then finally said,
'i've done everything I can for you,
i'm still your mother,
and if you don't like that you can go live on your own'
that hit home,
and for a few minutes,
I seriously considered it,
I know I can't though,
well,
I wont,
which might be for the best,
i'm not sure yet.
That about sums the last week of my life up,
oh,
and tonight I realized there is someone that I have liked for a while,
well,
I already knew that,
but I didn't realize how much until tonight,
which is a very bad thing,
very bad.