I have no witty title today

You don't have to be alone to be lonely,
and I proved that to myself today,
I was in a school with over 700 other people,
I can honestly say I have almost never felt so alone,
And I felt like I wasn't even there,
felt like I was watching myself from the outside,
and I have to say,
I looked like hell,
I'm getting worried,
because i'm losing my willpower,
something I have striven for so long to obtain,
and to keep,
and i'm just giving it up,
I can't make myself get up in the morning,
i've missed the bus twice this week because of it,
i'm constantly sick because I don't eat like I should,
i'm to lazy to get up and get myself something decent,
I don't take care of myself,
... I havn't taken a shower in a week,
and i've only brushed my hair three times this week,
I feel disgusting but I keep laying down at night and remembering,
...I should have done so much more,
I am falling behind in classes,
I remember,
oh hey,
I was supposed to write an essay last night,
five minutes before the fucking class starts,
I havn't changed my shirt in two days,
I feel like i'm shutting down,
which makes no sense,
because i'm actually fairly okay lately,
I have something to make me happy,
but at the same time,
UGH,
I can't even fucking put it into words,
I honestly don't know whats wrong with me this time,
and that terrifys me......
....
because that means I don't know how to fix it this time...