Again, this is stupid

So I am beginning to understand how my sub-concious works,
and I don't like it.
I want what I can't have,
and that is at such a level,
that it is ruining things that could be good for me,
it would be simple,
just like Green,
wait for her,
be content for a bit,
but no,
I have to like her too,
I have to have that extremly strong urge to kiss her when I see her,
I have to feel better when she has me in her arms hugging me,
I have to be dazzled when she smiles.
I don't want this,
but here it is staring me in the face,
I told her about it,
so she knows,
now I have to see how she reacts,
I know if I date Green,
the urge to kiss her will simply get stronger,
because then I no longer have the option of kissing her,
because I refuse to do that to Green,
I try very hard not to be that kind of person.