Bad karma

So I realized something as I talked to Taco today,
I am not used to being treated well,
to being treated with compassion,
i'm used to,
especially in relationships,
to me being the thoughtful one,
and the understanding one,
and the one striving to fix everything while the other person sits back,
and does nothing,
i'm not used to being treated well,
bottom line,
so when someone comes along,
and is understanding,
sweet,
out of the ordinary,
it scares the crap out of me,
and most of all,
I feel like I don't deserve it...
it isn't something I can help either or else I would change it,
right now,
I found someone,
that treats me better than most of the people in my life,
and it scares me,
because i'm so unused to it,
because I don't feel like I deserve it...
this sucks.