You know

I keep talking about all these bad things here,
and that all isn't true,
I guess I just focus on the negative here,
it's easy to talk about the positive to people,
the negative is harder,
plus,
you don't have to worry about hurting people with the positive,
I am a pessimist after all.

Side note,
I still care,
I still care a staggering amount,
I may not act like it,
I may not be particularly nice with my thoughts right now,
I may be vindictive and resentful,
but I still love you,
same way that we always understood,
you know I still get bullshit for it,
people telling me you can't possibly love someone after that short of time,
they don't understand that we know the different meanings behind the word love,
I love you the same as I would love an extremely close friend,
well now that technically is what you are,
even if we aren't very close right now,
and I don't know if we ever will be that close again,
which I wish we could be,
but I guess what I'm trying to say is I still care just as much,
you are still extremely important to me,
not as a romantic interest but as an incredible friend,
it isn't easy to find someone that's easy to talk to or get close to,
and though I'm not going to trust you for a long time to come,
and I'll never trust you as much as completely as i once did,
but I will keep my promise,
I'm not going anywhere,
I'm not going to let go of the friendship so easily,
I'm still angry and hurt,
but I guess I'm coming to terms with it,
soon it will fade and I'll be happy for you being happy with her,
even sooner more likely I will continue on with my life,
"good things fall apart so even better things can fall into place"
I really hope that's true with you and I,
cause jesus fuck I miss just talking to you,
giggling and laughing on the phone,
I know we could get it back,
if we both work on it all,
if we both let go of how bitter we are about some things,
and get over the resent and hurt,
I know I can,
because I love you way more than I resent you,
and I can forgive the hurt and the broken promises because of that.