period

I fucking hate the first day of my period,
at least that is what i'm blaming my mood on right now,
I feel so god damn alone,
and whiney ugh
I was so much more invested in her than i thought I was,
you don't realize it until they're gone.
all of my free time was spent with her.
there was always someone there to hold me at the end of the day,
i've grown so co-dependant that it's rediculous.
I feel lost with nothing to do when i'm alone.
I spend hours at work,
working when i'm not scheduled just because i have nothing else to do,
no imagination to think of anything,
the last time i decided to be spontanious and go somewhere it resulted in a fight
and a lost friend
I miss guard,
i wish i had a sabre to spin right now...
I really need to stop thinking about the past,
it isn't healthy for me.